One Snowy Day in a Graveyard
by adirtysilver
Summary: Hijikata bumps his head and ends up seeing some of Gintoki's memories. Contains spoilers from the Shinigami arc in the manga.


Hijikata watched as Gintoki's expression unexpectedly changed to a panicked one. Everything seemed to be happening in slow motion as he fell backwards, his head coming dangerously closer and closer to the hard ground. The two of them had just been having one of their usual squabbles when Gintoki had shoved him, and Hijikata had stumbled back a step only to trip on some rock. Something so stupid, but now he was falling too far for him to be alright. Even as Gintoki reached out to try to grab him, Hijikata's head slammed into the ground. Intense pain erupted from the back of his head for a second before he blacked out.

Having missed grabbing a hold of Hijikata, Gintoki fell on top of him, banging his own forehead into the unconscious cop's. He also ended up blacking out, but he was conscious again after about a minute, now with a horrible headache. "Ouch…" he muttered, putting a hand up to where he had hit his head. He felt extremely disoriented at first, but as he looked down at what was underneath him, everything came back to him. Gintoki started to panic again: Hijikata was still alive and breathing, but it was highly unlikely he would be waking up as quickly as Gintoki had which did not bode well.

Gintoki slipped a hand underneath Hijikata's head, weakly calling, "Hijikata," in the off chance he would get a response. He could feel that the back of Hijikata's was bleeding slightly, and this just made him worry more. Gintoki carefully picked up Hijikata, holding him in his arms. He took his time standing back up, not wanting to disturb Hijikata and somehow make him more injured. He then ran off in the direction of the nearest hospital, hoping Hijikata would be okay. It was all his fault: he shouldn't have pushed Hijikata like that and he should've caught him while he was falling. Hijikata _had _to be okay.

* * *

><p>The first thing Hijikata noticed was the fact that the ground was covered in snow and it was now freezing. It didn't make any sense considering it had just been a hot summer's day seconds ago. Hijikata started shivering due to the fact his light summer jacket offered little protection against the cold. He glanced around, trying to figure out where he was. Based off what he could see, he was now in the middle of a cemetery. Was he dreaming? He had to be. Everything felt so real, though. Snow was lightly falling and he could feel a few flakes land on him and slowly melt.<p>

Not having anything better to do, Hijikata started to wander among the graves, shoving his hands into his armpits for warmth. This wasn't a cemetery he had ever visited before, which made things even weirder. He was about to leave it to go find someplace where he could warm himself when he saw something that made him freeze. A few rows down he saw a figure sitting leaned up against the back of a tombstone. It appeared to be a young man who was currently asleep and also seemed to have a familiar-looking mop of silver hair. As he got a little closer, there was no mistake that that hair was Gintoki's, if a bit longer and poofier, with a small pile of snow resting atop it.

Upon recognizing Gintoki, Hijikata felt a knot form in the pit of his stomach: Gintoki only had a thread-bare yukata and some sandals on and not only had snow piled up on his head, but there was also some piled up on his shoulders and legs. His skin looked extremely pale, almost matching the white snow. Why was that idiot out here right now dressed like that? Was he trying to freeze to death? For a second, Hijikata actually thought he was too late and Gintoki was already dead, but then the idiot stirred in his sleep, seeming to flinch but not waking up.

"Gintoki?" Hijikata said uncertainly.

Gintoki scrunched his nose and brought his arms in tighter around him, waking up but keeping his eyes squeezed shut. "Nn…Is that you, Takasugi?" he mumbled, just loud enough that Hijikata could hear what he said. He then let out a short bark of laughter that caught Hijikata off guard. "Are you already dead too?" Gintoki asked darkly.

"The hell are you doing comparing me to a terrorist? It's Hijikata, you dumbass! And you're not dead, stop being so dramatic." Even as he said that, Hijikata suddenly had some doubt: after all, he had no idea what was going on. The last thing he could remember was falling and hitting his head on the ground. He supposed it was possible he could have died then, even if it was highly unlikely.

At Hijikata's reply, Gintoki opened his eyes, frowning. He took a moment before responding, "Who the hell are you? And how do you know my name?"

Gintoki seemed utterly sincere in his lack of recognition, like he had never seen Hijikata before. So was this some sort of dream of Gintoki from the past whom he had never actually met before in real life? As he looked more closely he did notice that Gintoki seemed younger. A crazy thought occurred to him: was he somehow in Gintoki's memory? Stranger things had happened before: they had swapped bodies, after all.

"Hey, do you have any food?" Gintoki asked, interrupting Hijikata's thoughts. "If not, please just go away."

"I don't have anything with me, but…" Hijikata trailed off. He felt he couldn't just leave Gintoki here in this state: even though he tried to hide it, he seemed on the verge of death. He also had no idea what exactly was happening: was it a dream? Time travel? "I could buy you some food and help you get outta this cold."

Gintoki tilted his head, eyes narrowed as he scrutinized Hijikata more closely, eyes lingering on his sword. "Are you…some kind of cop?" Gintoki asked guardedly, distrust plain on his face and a hint of fear in his eyes.

"What if I am?"

Gintoki folded his arms and closed his eyes again, pretending to go back to sleep.

"Idiot! Why are you saying no to a free meal? Never thought I'd see the day…" Hijikata muttered under his breath. "But just believe me, I don't really care what you've done, I'm not gonna arrest you. Now get your ass up." Hijikata stood in front of Gintoki and reached a hand down for him to grab.

Gintoki opened just one eye and stared Hijikata down with it, arms still crossed. A few seconds passed before he seemed to come to a decision, grabbing Hijikata's hand and allowing himself to be pulled to his feet. For a second he almost seemed as though he might lose his balance, but he caught himself before he could fall. It was then that Hijikata noticed that Gintoki had his bokuto at his waist. He considered making a remark of some sort, but instead decided it would be best if he just pretended to not notice it. It's not like Gintoki would attack him right now, right?

Hijikata led the way, with Gintoki walking a few steps behind him. As they walked through Kabuki-cho, it was like a combination of a dream and a memory: the surroundings just popped up, but it was like they were walking through the streets of the city as he remembered them. After walking for a few minutes, Hijikata suddenly stopped in his tracks. Gintoki nearly bumped into him, zoned out. He swayed on his feet a bit, breathing heavily and rubbing his arms. Hijikata shrugged out of his jacket, handing it over to Gintoki who didn't take it right away.

"C'mon, just take it. You need it way more'n me," Hijikata said, resisting the urge to roll his eyes.

Gintoki took it and put it on, sniffing as he did so. "This stinks like cigarettes. You some sorta chain smoker?"

"Quit complaining and just be grateful I gave it to you." Hijikata scanned the sides of the street, looking for something not too expensive to get to eat since he currently didn't have much money on him.

"Hmm," Gintoki hummed. "It's nice 'n warm, at least."

Hijikata felt his face warm up, but luckily Gintoki couldn't see it. He wasn't really sure why he was reacting this way. Of course Gintoki would appreciate the fact that the jacket had been kept warm by Hijikata since he had been freezing. Hijikata's eyes fell on something that gave him a distraction from his blush. "Hey, you up for some dango?"

"Sure, but can we please get somewhere warm already?" Gintoki was shivering despite having Hijikata's jacket on now and looked on the verge of collapsing.

Hijikata got a dozen sticks of it as quickly as possible, not sure how much Gintoki would want to eat, but deciding it wouldn't be a big deal if there were extra. If Sougo was in this weird dream, he could give some of the leftovers to him after eating whatever he wanted himself. With the sticks in hand, he walked in the direction of the Shinsengumi barracks when a definitely dream-like thing happened: all of a sudden they were in his room.

Gintoki was sitting on the ground, leaning against the wall, inhaling dango. Even inside away from all the snow, he still looked deathly pale, and now it was even more obvious how bad of shape he was in. Even after eating food and being inside, Gintoki was shivering. Not sure what else to do, Hijikata got out a futon for Gintoki to sleep in as well as some clothes that Gintoki could change into.

"I'll be right back, I'm gonna go see if I can get something warm for you to drink from the kitchen," Hijikata said, leaving his room. He was part of the way there when he suddenly remembered something important and quickly walked back. As he shoved the door open, he froze in surprise. Gintoki had his back to him and was currently in the middle of changing into the warmer clothes, shirtless. Dark bruises covered his chest and back, causing Gintoki to wince as he put Hijikata's clothes on. "Wha-?" Hijikata was so shocked he was unable to put any words together properly for a few seconds. "How did you get those injuries?"

Turning to face him, Gintoki fixed him with his dead fish eyes stare and said entirely seriously, "I fell down some stairs."

These words were not said as a joke, even though there was no way Hijikata believed they were true. The fact that the idiot was trying to pass this off as the truth made Hijikata grit his teeth in frustration. Why would he feel the need to hide the cause of his injuries? Had he just been planning on hiding them from Hijikata? Did he have broken ribs to go with those bruises? Did he need to see a doctor?

"Musta been one hell of a fall," Hijikata said dryly.

"Yeah, I _was_ planning on staying away from stairs for a while," Gintoki replied somewhat cryptically as he finished changing.

Hijikata knew it would be pointless to try to get Gintoki to say any more on the subject. The bastard could be pretty stubborn. At least for now he didn't seem to be in critical condition. "Whatever. I just came back to tell you to stay away from my futon when you eat, I don't want any food getting on it." With his rule finally said, he left the room again.

Deep in thought, Hijikata made the trip to the kitchen, trying to figure out what was up with Gintoki. He didn't know much about Gintoki's past except for the stories he had heard about the famed Shiroyasha and who knew how true they were. He had found the Shiroyasha far from any battlefields, though he seemed like he could be old enough to have already left the war behind. Had he left it recently, hence why he seemed homeless, just sitting out in the cold in a cemetery? For that matter, had he been there to die? He didn't seem like the type, Hijikata thought as he entered his room.

Still in the same spot Hijikata had left him in, Gintoki was sitting there, over half the dango eaten and still going. He was still hunched over and shivering slightly, as though he couldn't quite get warm. He glanced up without taking a break from eating to say anything as Hijikata walked over to him.

"Got you some hot chocolate," Hijikata said, handing the thermos over.

Finishing off the stick he was on, Gintoki set it down before grabbing the thermos. He took a tentative sip, and then started drinking it more quickly as he found it was not too hot. The food had certainly helped Gintoki look more alive, but now the hot chocolate made him look almost normal. He stopped shivering as he drank it, and his eyes seemed to light up. The combination of warmth and sweets seemed to do wonders for him.

Hijikata realized he was starting to feel tired, so he got out a spare futon. He felt too self-conscious to change in front of Gintoki at the moment, so he decided to just sleep in what he had on, setting his sword down right next to his futon, easily within reach. This Gintoki was too mysterious and strange, not quite like the one he knew so well. It was all just some dream anyways, so it's not like it really mattered what he wore.

Gintoki finished a stick of dango before setting down the few that were left, done eating for now. "Thanks for the food," he said, already crawling over to the futon. He dove under the blankets, bokuto in hand, wincing slightly from the movement. He seemed about ready to pass out, but he kept his eyes open as he looked over at Hijikata.

"Yeah, it was no problem," Hijikata replied, unsure of what else to say. Following Gintoki's lead, he also slipped under the covers of his futon. As he closed his eyes, he could hear Gintoki fidgeting under his sheets a little. It stopped after a few minutes, and Hijikata soon found himself drifting off to sleep. Right as he was about to lose consciousness, however, he suddenly felt something nudge his side, causing his eyes to fly wide open in surprise.

"Hey, switch futons with me," Gintoki said, standing right next to where Hijikata was laying.

Hijikata let out a groan, grumpy that he had been on the verge of falling asleep but was now having to deal with Gintoki, feeling incredibly drowsy. "Wha-? You an insomniac or something? Think this futon is more comfortable? Don't be dumb, just leave me alone. They're the same level of comfort," Hijikata mumbled, almost incomprehensible. He tried to muster the best death glare he could, succeeding in only squinting like someone who had just woken up.

"I can't get warm and your bed must be nice and toasty now. So give me it."

"Bastard," Hijikata grumbled, his glared becoming more like his usual death glare as he woke up more. "You waited 'til I got all comfortable and now you demand me to move and have to start all over? Without even a 'please?'"

"Fine," Gintoki said, crossing his arms. "_Please _let me have the futon you're in. If you don't wanna move, I'll just get right in there with you. That would be even more warm for me, come to think of it. I just don't wanna be cold anymore."

With an exasperated sigh, Hijikata sat up, his covers sliding down and leaving his upper body bare of their warmth. He roughly shoved them off of himself with way more force than was necessary before grabbing his sword and standing up, walking over to the futon Gintoki had abandoned. His back was turned to Gintoki, but he heard him as he dove under the blankets. Rolling his eyes, Hijikata slipped into his futon that was surprisingly cold for having just had someone laying in it. This worried him. Did Gintoki actually need medical attention? Hijikata looked over at him, and relaxed as he saw that Gintoki had already passed out and was not shivering. The perm head even seemed to have almost the normal amount of color in his face.

Hijikata felt his eyelids grow heavy and found himself drifting off to sleep again. He wondered just how long this weird dream thing was going to be as he finally became unconscious.

Hijikata opened his eyes, and it felt like no time had passed. The first thing he noticed was he was now in a different room, and there were currently what appeared to be two prison guards hitting someone with wooden clubs. Nobody noticed Hijikata as he moved so he could see the face of what he assumed was a prisoner. As soon as he recognized who it was, he felt sick to his stomach.

Never before had the sight of those dead fish eyes ever made him feel the mixture of cold fury and heartache that had his clenched fists shaking at his sides. Gintoki just knelt there with a blank expression as they struck him repeatedly, each sickeningly loud thud causing Hijikata to clench his fists even tighter. He wasn't sure if it was possible for his stomach to sink anymore when he saw that blood had spattered on the wall. As a guard struck Gintoki in the face, a few globs of blood were sent flying to add to the stains on the wall with a nauseating splat. The guards seemed to grow angrier as they kept beating Gintoki, the ferocity of their hits increasing. Hijikata could no longer just idly watch. He gripped the hilt of his sword, even though he knew it was useless. He had to at least try something.

"…kata. Come on, wake up already," Gintoki's voice echoed in his head right as his arm tensed to draw his sword.

Hijikata's surroundings faded away and it seemed as though he were now floating upwards. Pictures flashed through his mind. First he saw an image of a man letting Gintoki out of a jail cell followed by Gintoki limping along, one hand against a wall for support while the other was holding his stomach. Then he saw Gintoki in that snowy graveyard again, leaning up against the tombstone. Next was an image of his landlady sitting down and resting on her toes, offering manju to the grave. This scene didn't fade away like the others.

Gintoki was talking, "Can I have some? I'm starving to death here."

"These belong to my husband. Ask him," came Otose's reply.

Gintoki devoured the manju, practically choking on them since he was eating too quickly.

"What did my husband say?"

"Beats me. The dead don't talk," Gintoki said, somewhat muffled due to there still being food in his mouth.

Where a moment ago there was a small smile on her face, Otose now was starting to scowl. "You're just asking for it. Don't blame me if you get cursed."

"The dead don't talk and they don't eat dango so I made a one-sided promise. I won't forget this debt. Your wife doesn't have that much longer to live, but I'm going to protect her in your stead."

Gintoki stood up and turned to face her, more life in his eyes than there had been when Hijikata had tried to help him out. They were also eyes filled with a steely resolve that Hijikata had only seen on rare occasions.

The scene faded away, and Hijikata's eyes shot open. He got his bearings quickly: he was lying in a hospital bed right now, and Gintoki was sitting at his bedside, looking worried. Before he could say anything, Gintoki hugged him tightly, shocking Hijikata. He soon returned the hug, though, taking advantage of the fact that Gintoki had initiated it, so it was fine that he was hugging back.

"I'm so glad you're okay," Gintoki said, relief plain in his voice. "I don't know what I would've done if…if…"

"It's okay now," Hijikata said quietly, barely audible as he rested his head against Gintoki's and closed his eyes. He couldn't say anything to Gintoki about what he had seen, so all he could do right now was hold him close, hoping he would never see his dead fish eyes in such a context again.


End file.
